It ain’t easy, but it ain’t optional either…
This week, I’ve been reflecting on something that is both incredibly simple and deeply challenging: forgiveness. I’m sure we’ve all heard Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:14-15: For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
That’s a heavy teaching, isn’t it? Forgiveness seems so straightforward when we hear it in a sermon or read it in scripture, but it’s another thing entirely when we’re asked to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us. Why is that?
I think part of the struggle is that forgiveness feels like a loss of power. When someone wrongs us, we hold on to that hurt as if it’s our way of keeping control. We replay the moment over and over, thinking that by holding onto the pain, we’re protecting ourselves.
But in reality, refusing to forgive doesn’t protect us—it poisons us.
When we harbor unforgiveness, we’re the ones carrying the burden, not the person who hurt us. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. We end up weighed down by bitterness, resentment, and anger, each growing heavier with time.
But Jesus offers us a better way.
Forgiveness, as Jesus teaches it, is not about excusing wrong behavior or pretending the hurt didn’t happen. Instead, forgiveness is about…
**Cue the music. Blonde princess lady in an ice castle starts to sing. Let it go, let it goooo!!! …the cold doesn’t bother me anyway…**
Ha. Can you tell I’ve seen Disney’s Frozen about a thousand times? Letting go is easier sung by a princess in a Disney movie, but it’s a powerful truth Jesus calls us to live out. Forgiveness is about letting go. It’s about letting go of that pain and giving it to God; trusting Him with the outcome.
Jesus calls us to forgive because He knows that forgiveness brings freedom. It brings freedom to the person we feel wronged us (we let them go), but it also brings freedom to our own hearts (we let ourselves go).
Let’s look at what the Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:31-32: Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Paul doesn’t minimize the emotional toll of unforgiveness. He acknowledges the bitterness and anger that festers in us when we don’t forgive, but he doesn’t allow that to be our excuse. He hits us with a difficult truth:
I am to forgive others as God has forgiven me.
Jesus took my sins upon Himself and forgave me—even though I didn’t deserve it and wasn’t even seeking it. And now, if I’m His, I do the same. Period. No excuses. Total forgiveness, because the well from which I draw is not my own capacity to forgive, but God’s.
One story that has always inspired me is that of Corrie ten Boom. During World War II, she and her family were sent to concentration camps for hiding Jews in their home. After the war, Corrie became a speaker, sharing the message of forgiveness. At one event, she encountered a former Nazi guard who had been at the very camp where her sister had died. He came up to her afterward, asking for her forgiveness.
What would you have done? The unimaginable pain that this man caused her. I can’t imagine being able to forgive him were I in her place. But she said this: "Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart."
She forgave the Nazi, and in so doing she didn’t just free him—she freed herself from the chains of bitterness.
Now, I know most of us aren’t dealing with situations as extreme as this one, but the power of forgiveness applies in every part of our lives—big or small. You’ve held a grudge against a friend for a slight done years past. You’ve stopped talking to a family member because of the hurt they caused you. Maybe a co-worker is the target of your bitterness, or even your spouse. No matter who you feel is the cause of your bitterness and anger, if you are a Christ-follower, our only option is to forgive. Scroll back up to the beginning of this and read Matthew 6:14-15 a couple more times.
Forgiveness may not be easy, but it’s not optional either.
So let me ask: who do you need to forgive today? What do you need to let go of? What bitterness or hurt do you need to give to God? I want to encourage you to take that step today. It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It just means you’re choosing freedom.
Let go of them.
Let go of bitterness.
Grab hold of Jesus instead.
One last thought. I realize that forgiveness is a process. It’s not always a one-time decision. Often, we have to choose forgiveness daily until the pain loses its grip on our hearts. But don’t worry—the Holy Spirit is with you in that process, offering His strength and grace to help you through. You’re not supposed to be able to do it alone. Like much of our Christian walk, this too is about dependence on Him.
May we be a people known for forgiveness, radical grace, and the freedom that comes from letting go of bitterness and holding onto Christ.